Monday, November 7, 2011


I have this list of items that really "grate my nerves" or "get my goat" or makes me " see red" like these 4 items.

1:  Carpet.
It is very lovely when brand-new.  So soft under the feet.  So nice to lie down on when watching TV or whatever.  It is all fun and games until someone spills a whole cup of Sunny D and doesn't tell you about it until days later.  Or when you are trying to potty-train a cute puppy.  Or when a child tracks mud and other grime from outside.  I know we could have avoided a lot of the muck if we had the "no shoes inside" rule or didn't get a puppy....but I like wearing shoes and love my dog and I didn't want to stress over the floors anymore than I had to!!

When my parents built their house in 1980 my mother wanted all hard-surface floors.  NO CARPET.  I never understood until I had my own home.  We built our house in 2002 and went ahead and had the carpet put down because it was included in the price...but we knew eventually it would be trashed.  A few years later we got hard wood.  Best. investment. ever.  I respect the "no shoes" rule at other people's houses and have lots of respect for their clean carpets!  

2.  Grout a few years ago Richard and I (mainly me) installed our own tile in the kitchen and sunroom.  HUGE project.  never do it again.  unless I have to.  Saved thousands though and only messed up once....which you really can't do since it is permanent...but that isn't my complaint.  The grout.  It gets dirty so easily.  Yes...i sealed it.  twice.  If I could change something it would have been the color I chose.  Our tile color is a little lighter than this picture but the grout was about that shade of beige.  In the beginning you could see the dirty grout...but now as I look around it all looks the same dark brown/ dirt color so it is OK:)  I don't notice it as much.   I have looked into cleaning products but that will not last that long.  looked at better sealants and/or staining it another color ....who cares, right?

3.  Holly Bushes
Sure...they are cute when they are small(just like a puppy) but they grow up(although my dogs have stayed cute!).  And before you know it...the 14 holly bushes that were planted along the front of your house are  thick and prickly and overgrown and taking over your sidewalk.  As they got more mature they were very difficult to control and i swear they grew overnight.   Oh...and trying to haul away the clippings....torture.

So what are your options?  Hack away with a dull shrub trimmer  and lop off the bottom branches?  Try to shape them but cutting away so much that it looks like a midget tried to prune you just cut it down to the ground level?  Or borrow a chainsaw and cut them all down while laughing maniacally?  All of the above.

The ONLY good I saw from these devil-bushes was keeping away the riff raff like in this picture  (when I was googling a picture of the bushes this came up...."ways to keep your house safe" looks like 2 teenagers trying to escape...not burglars!

4.  Weed Eaters or String Trimmers

Oh...this is making me 'see red' and I haven't even written 20 words!  Imagine your yard needs to be mowed....and you know those places where the lawn mower just won't matter how many times you back up and bump the swing set and almost run into the house?  Those places the need a string trimmer? imagine you have just spent an hour mowing the lawn and are ready make your yard sparkle by taking care of the trim work.  You make sure the trimmer is gassed up....have pushed that little bulb 10 times...moved the choke to 'full'....done all the steps and then start pulling.  nothing.  you go through the steps again and start pulling. get excited because it starts to cough and then it dies.  once again all the steps and it starts!!!  angels start to sing. you move the choke down to the "run" position and it dies.  Imagine doing this for 20 minutes. Oh...yes it did eventually run for about 5 minutes and then i would have to start. all. over.
I have never "screamed out of frustration" so loud-and so many times-  in my life!  I didn't even care what the neighbors or the missionaries thought.  Oh...and when you do get the demon started and then the string runs out...what now?  Try restringing it.  Just try.  Aint' that easy.  And then you remember how much you paid for this machine....putting up a little more money to get one that would start each time.  geesh.  Makes me want to put down astro turf like they do in Florida!

So there is my list of items that are probably in Hell.  Carpet, Holly Bushes, grout and String Trimmers.  The end.

1 comment:

  1. Hell not only contains all of the things you mentioned, it also contains large buckets of black tar that one waterproofs basement walls with. When I get there, the devil will hand me a brush and say, "get busy, you have eternity to finish these walls..."


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